You can create a Web site in memory of your loved one who has passed. Place photos on it. Share your personal story, any poetry you have written, or anything that touches you. You can also allow it to be a source of remembering for others, and provide them a place for them to add their thoughts. Continue reading
Losing a loved one – whether through unexpected or anticipated circumstances – is always traumatic. This is especially true with the death of a spouse. It is one of life’s most profound losses. The transition from spouse to widowed is a very real, painful, and personal experience. The trauma of trying to adjust to this new identity while being besieged with a multitude of urgent questions and decisions can be overwhelming. Here are some good guidelines when faced with the death of your spouse.
1. Give yourself permission to mourn. Men and women both need to give themselves permission to mourn. Postponing a confrontation with your feelings by filling each day with frantic activity will only delay and compound the grief reaction.
2. Be aware that you may experience a range of emotions. Your reactions to death may cover a range of emotion (i.e. shock, numbness, anger, pain, and yearning). Grief consists of multiple phases that often overlap.
3. With effort, you can and you MUST overcome your grief. One of the myths about mourning is that it has an ending point. It doesn’t. It requires work. It takes effort to heal. Mourning is a natural and personal process that only you can pace. It cannot be rushed and it cannot happen without your participation.
4. When needed, find the strength to take action. As a newly widowed person, there may be urgent financial and legal decisions you must make following the death of your spouse, yet the last thing you want to deal with is money matters. But money does matter, now and for your future, so try to do the best you can. Postpone, however, any decisions that can be put off until you feel better emotionally.
5. Work to tame your fears. When the first impact of death wears off, you may feel you are losing control. This is a normal part of the grieving process. Unlike mental illness, the strong feelings suffered during grief gradually and permanently disappear. Because you may experience a feeling of temporary instability, it’s important to remember that you have the ability to cope. This is a time when much of your adjustment to widowhood takes place.
6. In your own time, in your own way, you can say goodbye. The present, with all its pain and sorrow, is the only reality you have. Memories are very important, but they cannot be used as a shield against the present. At some point in your grieving, you will be ready to try to say goodbye.
7. Stress can wreak havoc on your health. The effect of grief on health is just starting to be understood. While your health might be the least of your concerns during this period, you should try to maintain your health as soon as you feel able. Begin with some form of regular exercise, getting proper nutrition, and reporting physical complaints to your doctor.
8. If interested, consider employment, continuing education or volunteer opportunities that match your needs and interests. Re-entering the job market after a loss can be one of the hardest tasks that the widowed must face. If you don’t need to return to work immediately, you may decide to go back to school. There are also volunteer opportunities that are meaningful and personally fulfilling in your community, which you may want to consider.
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Pet funerals and burials are becoming an increasingly-popular option as pets have found a secure place in our homes as a member of the family. For some of us, our pets are much more than just “pets” – they are constant, loving companions, and in some cases, our animal companions improve life to a dramatic degree – think Service Animals or Police K9s who devote their lives to the service of humans. With all they give us, it is no wonder that people feel the need to “give back” and memorialize their pets with a fitting final tribute.
Many Funeral Homes offer Pet Funeral and Burial Services, so you can begin by contacting your local Funeral Director. They will know of local Pet Cemeteries, or can help you select a spot on your own property, if you would like to inter your pet at home. Be aware that some areas prohibit the burial of pets – even on private property – for health reasons, so check out your local laws if you decide to bury your pet at home. With today’s transient society, few people stay in the same residence permanently, and that is another thing to consider when selecting a burial location.
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Nowadays, caskets are available for rental, just to fulfill that need. Speak with your Funeral Director about your preference to rent, rather than buy, a casket for the viewing and they will be able to show you the options available for rental.
There are also caskets specifically designed for cremation – usually they are made of a fiberboard material, and most look very much like the more “traditional” hardwood caskets. Again, your Funeral Director will be able to advise you of your options.
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Preparing an autopsy case can be much more challenging for an Embalmer than the standard case, however most are trained to handle such situations and are able to overcome the technical difficulties with excellent results. Many morgues in the United States make sure to preserve necessary vessels used in traditional embalming, just so that proper care can be given to the deceased and a comforting final image can be presented to the family.
There is usually no effect on final disposition, whether it is traditional burial or cremation.
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It is also very important to make sure that your family members are aware of your wishes. Put your preferences in writing and give copies to your family members and to your attorney. Do not designate your preferences in your will, because a will is usually not read until after the funeral. Continue reading
Mausoleum crypts are both clean and dry. They also offer a alternative for people who have an aversion to being buried in the ground. They also allow for a maximum number of entombments in a minimum amount of space. Continue reading
A funeral is a time of closure. A time for people to say goodbye. Children, like adults, need to grieve when they lose a loved one. Attending the funeral will usually help with a child’s grieving process. They will most likely feel support from family and friends in a safe setting. You may want to tell your child what happens at a funeral, so they know what to expect. If possible, give them detailed information such as who will speak and in what order. You may also want tell them about the casket or urn, so that there are no surprises to the child. Warn them that people will be emotional. Most importantly, be honest with your child. Allow to ask any questions they may have, and provide them with honest answers. Continue reading
It is the customary way to put closure for friends and family when a loved one passes. Funeral rituals have been around since before the beginning of recorded history and are practiced worldwide in every society. They give worth and dignity to the dead, and help friends and relatives begin the grief process. Every life lived deserves a funeral or memorial service to recognize what the person has accomplished in his or her life and to give closure to the family. Continue reading
Embalming sanitizes and preserves the body, delays the decomposition process, as well as enhances the appearance of the body disfigured by traumatic death or illness.
Embalming increases the length of time between death and the final disposition, which allows family members’ time to arrange the type of service they would like to have and for far away loved ones to be able to attend the service.
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Your first decision is where you would like to hold the Memorial Service. Many Funeral Homes offer their facilities for Memorial Services, so you may want to contact your local Funeral Director. Many beautiful Memorial Services have been held at a favorite restaurant, or park, of the deceased.
Once you decide on a location, pick a date. If it will be an outdoor event think about weather conditions likely that time of year, and what will be comfortable for your invitees, as well. A special date – an anniversary, for instance – can also be a good choice when considering when to hold the event.
Next, decide on the “feel” of the Memorial Service. Will it be somber? Celebratory? A dressy dinner or an informal luncheon? Be sure that your invitation conveys what the “mood” will be so that guests can dress accordingly.
Think about the music you would like to have (if any) and if you would like individuals to read religious passages or share stories of the deceased. Contact anyone you would like to have intimately involved in the planning or activities and discuss what you would like to do.
Another thing to consider is coordinating donations in honor of the deceased to his or her favorite organization – a popular alternative to flowers at funerals and very popular with guests at Memorial Services as well. You may also want to plant a tree, or give guests wildflower seeds to sprinkle in a special place in remembrance.
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Writing an appropriate condolence to someone – whether in a card or guest book – can be challenging for those who find it difficult to put their emotions into words. The best idea is to keep it simple and heartfelt or write about a special memory of the deceased. Often, family find fond memories of the deceased especially comforting. A simple sentiment such as “so-and-so will be greatly missed or His/her smile lit up a room” is appropriate. Or “our thoughts are with you at this time” can help express support to the family of the deceased. Continue reading
With the current trend toward unique memorialization of loved ones, there are a lot of different options for hearses. There are motorcycle hearses, horse-drawn carriage hearses, and a multitude of hearses produced by just about every automobile manufacturer. Your local Funeral Director may have some unique options available nearby, and an online search for hearses often provides some unusual ideas to commemorate a final journey appropriately. Continue reading
Usually, your first step in pre-planning your funeral is your local Funeral Director. He or she will also be able to guide you when it comes to selecting a cemetery – or you may want to find a cemetery on your own that you would like to purchase a plot or space in.
Once the cemetery of choice has been decided, you can contact the staff to inquire about pricing and options. Many cemeteries nowadays have beautiful mausoleums and columbariums as well as the traditional lawn sites.
Check with the burial requirements when making your plans as well – some cemeteries require concrete burial vaults or have restrictions on ground burials at certain times of the year (such as winter in northern areas), and some have restrictions on what sort of markers can indicate a grave (if you want something “non-traditional†make sure it is approved before purchase).
“Green Burials†– burial in a non-traditional, “eco-friendly†cemetery – are becoming increasingly common, as are “scattering gardens†for cremains. These unique burial grounds often use “natural†grave markers like local boulders engraved with the name of the deceased to indicate resting sites, and the overall effect is restful, serene and very “earth conscious.â€
Another thing to consider when purchasing a final resting spot is if and how many family members would like to be interred in the same area. Often multiple plots or spaces can be purchased at once, often with a price break.
Don’t forget to put these final arrangements in place on your pre-planning documentation, so that there are no questions as to final disposition.
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Cremation is the burning of the body in a crematory furnace, and depending on where the cremation takes place, the body may be burned along with a container or coffin and the clothing the body is wearing. Jewelry is generally removed and pacemakers are always removed as they can explode and damage the crematory furnace.
The container or coffin is specially designed to be burned along with the body, and usually any additional metal objects, such as coffin handles, are removed prior to cremation. In some cultures it is mandatory that next of kin witness the body being cremated, so there are facilities designed for that religious requirement.
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Some of these terms (such as Funeral Director and Mortician) are used interchangeably; however, there are some distinctions between them. A Funeral Director or Mortician may or may not be an Embalmer, but an Embalmer is usually also licensed as a Funeral Director. A State Board-issued license is generally required to be a Funeral Director/Embalmer, which entails completing advanced schooling with a degree in Funeral Services and Board approval. A Funeral Assistant may or may not be licensed at all, depending on that state’s requirements. They are usually hired to assist the Funeral Director in various facets of serving families – from planning services, coordinating funeral to transporting the deceased. As embalming usually requires special training, Funeral Assistants are usually not licensed to perform embalming. You can check your state’s requirements by contacting your state Funeral Board. Continue reading
The Funeral Director in your neighborhood would be the place to start. They are there to help with the nearly 90 items that have to be addressed, from the selection of a casket to the verse on the memory cards. This is very difficult and almost impossible task for the person handling the arrangements if they have never been through it before. Funeral Homes take calls 24 hours a day, 7 days a week so don’t wait for a convenient time or until morning. Call Immediately and they will make arrangements to remove the body. Someone from the funeral home will go to where the death occurred to remove the body. Then funeral director will schedule an appointment to meet with you and the parties responsible for handling the funeral arrangements. this meeting could be held at the Funeral Home or your home if desired. Continue reading
The body is cremated shortly after death, without embalming. The cremated remains are placed in an urn or other container. No viewing or visitation is involved, although a memorial service may be held, with or without the cremated remains present. The remains can be kept in the home, buried or placed in a crypt or niche in a cemetery, or buried or scattered in a favorite spot. Direct cremation usually costs less than the “traditional,†full-service funeral. Costs include the funeral home’s basic services fee, as well as transportation and care of the body. A crematory fee may be included or, if the funeral home does not own the crematory, the fee may be added on. There also will be a charge for an urn or other container. The cost of a cemetery plot or crypt is included only if the remains are buried or entombed. Funeral providers who offer direct cremations also must offer to provide an alternative container that can be used in place of a casket. Continue reading
Yes. Many families choose to have an open casket viewing for the deceased along with a traditional funeral service before the cremation takes place. Most funeral homes offer rental caskets just for that reason. There are many options for cremations services available. Check with your local funeral home for prices and availability. Continue reading
Whether attending, preplanning, or arranging a funeral/memorial service, FuneralAdvice.com is here to assist you in dealing with this difficult experience.
By answering questions you may have and providing you with information regarding the healing process; financial concerns; news matters concerning the industry and anything else that relates to funerals we hope to make you a better educated consumer and ease the pain of losing a loved one.
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Green burial can take place without the use of formaldehyde-based embalming, metal caskets, and concrete burial vaults. It’s the way most burials were performed for thousands of years up until the late 19th century. In some instances, green burial are used to facilitate ecological restoration and landscape-level conservation.
Green Burials are legal accept in cases of very rare diseases, such as cholera. There is nothing in federal, state or local law that requires embalming, caskets, grave markers, burial vaults or grave liners. For green burials, the use of Eco friendly caskets made from wicker or other organic material may be used. Traditional cemeteries may require, burial vaults or liners to reduce land settling on grave sites which makes it easier to mow the grass and ease of walking within the cemetery. Unembalmed bodies must be buried within 24-hours or be refrigerated, but there are several certified green funeral homes that provide refrigeration services. Continue reading
Any Mass celebrated for a deceased person could be called a Memorial Mass or Memorial Service. This type of Memorial Mass or Service is celebrated when either no Funeral Mass has been celebrated or the Funeral Mass was celebrated in one place and the body is being transferred to another for burial. The difference is that a Memorial Mass takes place without either the body or the cremated remains present. The funeral usually has a Service along with a viewing and has the body or cremated remains present. Continue reading
It is a great honor to be asked to help your friend during this painful time. There are a few things you would need to do before your can start helping. You will need to ask questions regarding the place of worship, what member of the clergy will be performing the service, will it be a private service or open? Also ask if there will be anyone else she like to have involved for doing readings or serve as ushers? Will there be a reception following the memorial service, if so, where would she like it, at her home or at a hall and if it would be catered or home made foods? Ask for names, phone numbers and addresses of people she would like to invite that might otherwise not know of the service. Help prepare the newspaper announcement as well as call the list of people she would like to have attend the service.
By helping with these details, you will be a great help for her in these trying times. Continue reading
Yes. Most Funeral Homes offer Pre-Arranged funerals which makes it easier for you to receive the type of funeral you would like to have and lesson the burden on your family at the time of your death. This information is kept on file with the Funeral Home of your choosing. You can also Pre-Pay your arrangements through a trust to lesson the burden even more.
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